


In My Blood

by winterdrops



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterdrops/pseuds/winterdrops
Summary: Beomgyu’s life went downhill. After his major family & personal problems came, he made impulsive decisions one of which was pushing yeonjun away. He knows Beomgyu has his reasons why he did that. Knowing Beomgyu wasn't that well off, he uses the money he gets from gigs to pay for Beomgyu's tuition every semester. One day, Beomgyu wanted to release his pain thus he goes to a gig just to hear and see his ex perform.
Kudos: 4





	In My Blood

**Author's Note:**

> listen to in my blood (txt's cover) while reading

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in.

Beomgyu wipes his face and looks at the soggy mirror in the bathroom as water drips from his hair. His eyes are on fire and his temper is rising triggering him to hit the washbasin hard and he screams. 

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Stay away, please.”

“I’m just trying to help…”

“You think everything is easy to get? Why, because you’re rich? That’s not how the world goes.”

“I… just thought that this would help.”

“It won’t. So please, stay away. We’re done, right? What more do you want?”

Bzzzzzzt. The sound of the alarm wakes him up at 9am from his deep sleep. He’s been tired, everyday, but he couldn’t stop because if he does, everything will be harder than the usual. “Shit, I’m late.” He mutters and stands up, grabs his clothes hurriedly, goes to the bathroom to wash. This has been his daily routine for the past 2 years.

“Bye, mom.” He waves goodbye to his mom and she just nods. “Please, stop stressing yourself.” He didn’t mind these words from his mom because he knows he can’t do that, he couldn’t bear seeing his family have a hard time.

Beomgyu was a delinquent and still, kind of, a reckless person especially now that things went out of hand. He almost dropped out from school but miracles happened that the school decided to let him stay. 

He’s walking to school, lifeless, like a walking zombie as if the sun hasn’t risen yet. “Beomgyu!” someone calls for him. “Oh, hey, Taehyun.” It’s his only friend, Kang Taehyun. 

“It’s almost finals, do you want to study together tonight?” Taehyun asks.

“I can’t… you know…”

“Oh yeah, you have part time jobs. Make sure to go home afterwards, huh! You might go to gigs again. Don’t waste your money there!”

“Come on, Taehyun, that’s my rest time!” Beomgyu laughs but deep inside what he said actually hurts him.

“Take care of yourself hyung! Always remember that. Okay, I’m gonna go to class already. See you!” Taehyun waves and of course, the people again staring at Taehyun smiling like crazy as if he’s an idol or something.

“He never loses his fans, huh.” This thought makes him laugh. He continues walking to his classroom until someone taps his shoulders. “Excuse me? You dropped this.”

Both of them are startled and unable to comprehend what they’re seeing in front of them. They look at each other and they thought ‘it’s him again.’

Beomgyu grabbed his wallet from the man’s hand without uttering a word or smiling at him as a gesture of thanks. Why would he? It’s Choi Yeonjun after all.

He’s still the same, he doesn’t know how to say thank you. Yeonjun mutters to himself and chuckles. “Oh! You’re here Yeonjun. You’re gonna pay again for this semester?” His professor asked. “Shh, sir he might here you. But yes I’m gonna pay again.” 

While walking in the hallway, the incident reminds Beomgyu of many things. He remembers when Yeonjun and him got scolded so they had to clean the art room and of course, Yeonjun as clingy as he is, he would always go near him and try to hold his hands while cleaning. “Are you cleaning my hand now?” he would always tell him and they laugh. This thought made him smile unconsciously but then he comes to his senses and go back to his zombie looking face.

He couldn’t deny, he missed Yeonjun but what can he do? He’s messed up and he doesn’t want him to be involved.

––––––––

“Can you do your work properly and stop fucking around?” The customer scolds Beomgyu for accidentally making the can of sodas fall. He keeps apologizing and tries to clean his works but bad things just keep coming out from the customer’s mouth. He’s immune, he couldn’t hear the words anymore it’s as if he’s been deaf. He heard much more painful ones than this.

“If you don’t want to get fired, then do your work properly, Beomgyu.” His boss says in a mocking tone. He holds his tears in like he always does because now he can’t lean onto someone unlike when Yeonjun was still there.

“Excuse me, I think the coffee dispenser is broken.” The familiar customer says so he fixes the dispenser for him.

“You’re still here, Beomgyu?” The customer asks and he just nods coldly in response. When he gets the dispenser fixed, he thanks him.  
Yeonjun puts two coffee cups and says, “I’m paying for these two.” Beomgyu gets puzzled as to why there’s two cups when he’s just one person. Nonetheless, he doesn’t ask him and just accept his payment. After that, Yeonjun walks. “Hey, you forgot the other coffee.” 

Yeonjun did not utter a word and just smiled at him and walks out of the convenience store. He holds the cup and sees a sticky note on it and there written these words:

Fighting, Beomgyu! I’m cheering for you ☺

Beomgyu smiles and keeps the paper. The kind gesture of Yeonjun makes him kind of happy and relieved in a way.

Of course, he didn’t keep his promise to Taehyun and still went to a gig. He wanted to release his pain even if it isn’t right since it’s almost finals. He pushes the door in front of him and enters the place. “Oh, you’re here again. Having a hard time?” The staff asked. He’s almost a regular in this place that’s why the workers their could already recognize him. 

He asks for another bottle of drinks and before he could even drink it, someone sits beside him. “Have you been like this?” The familiar boy asks him.

“Why? What do you care?” He drinks.

“Why? Why do I care? You don’t know anything.” Yeonjun responds.

“I don’t even bother knowing anything about you. So you’re still doing gigs? Tsk, you’re rich what more do you want.” The last few words trigger Yeonjun causing him to pull Beomgyu and take him outside of the place.

“Why the fuck did you take me here?” Yeonjun aggressively lets go of his wrist causing it to have a red mark.

“Are you still on about my riches? Do you know why I go to gigs? DO YOU KNOW!?” Yeonjun is raging in madness making his ears red.

“No I don’t know why would I bother!?”

“You’re still the same Beomgyu. The asshole I met.” He responds.

“Asshole, huh? Me? Look whose speaking!” He pushes Yeonjun lightly.

“Do you know why you’re still in school?” Yeonjun asks. “I don’t know why I’m in that shitty place they should’ve let me go out.” 

“I couldn’t bear to see you having a hard time. I couldn’t help it seeing you wasting your life in things like these. I couldn’t let you suffer more than now.” 

“Why couldn’t you? What do you care about me?” Beomgyu laughs sarcastically.

“RIGHT! WHY WOULD I! Have you been this dense, huh! Are you dumb!” 

“Yes, I am! That’s why I left you! I was dumb enough to do that!” What Beomgyu said makes him tremble.

“I’ve been paying your tuition, Beomgyu. I go to gigs to earn money enough for your tuition. I give half of it to your family. Yes! I’ve been in touch with them and they never pushed me away whenever I help.”

Despite the heartwarming words Yeonjun said, Beomgyu didn’t take this seriously. “That hurts my pride, Yeonjun. Do you think I can’t provide for my family and myself? Do you pity—“

“There you go again in your goddamn pride! I don’t pity you! Why do you always think like that when all I want is to help you?”

“Why would you help me? I left you I hurt you then why!”

“Is caring for you an enough reason? Is being worried of you enough? What reasons do you want beomgyu, just tell me.”

“I’ve had enough of your reasons.” Beomgyu says bluntly and walks back in the place.

Yeonjun deeply sighs until someone calls him saying it’s time to perform. He goes back inside and grabs the mic.

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in. Yeonjun sings

Beomgyu wipes his face and looks at the soggy mirror in the bathroom as water drips from his hair. His eyes are on fire and his temper is rising triggering him to hit the washbasin hard and he screams in pain with tears dropping from his eyes.

He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t apprehend whatever Yeonjun says. He feels happy but he feels in pain. He feels like he’s been a bother to Yeonjun as he has been paying for him and lending money to his family but at the same time he feels thankful for the help. He doesn’t know why he’s so hurt with everything… He doesn’t know what reason he wanted to hear from Yeonjun.

Just have a drink and you’ll feel better.

He sits down and hugs his legs with his head down, crying. He hears Yeonjun sing which makes it more painful to handle. He starts remembering what happened 2 years ago.

It’s Yeonjun and Beomgyu’s 2nd anniversary. Beomgyu decided to go home to get his guitar before meeting with Yeonjun. On his way home, Yeonjun called him to ask where he is and he said he’d just be getting home to get his money.

Upon arriving his house, he hears screaming, shouting and crying and it makes him rush inside to see what’s going on. He sees everything messed up; the vases are broken like someone threw them. “It’s your fault! Look how dumb you are? Now we can’t pay the bills. That’s al the money that we had!” His mom shouts at his father. 

“What happened?” Beomgyu asks with a shaky voice. “Your dumb father got scammed and gave all the money we have left to that person. Now we barely have anything left. What do will you do huh? What will you do! Answer me!” His mom started to scream at his father. Beomgyu didn’t know what to do all that he could think of is giving his savings to his family.

He gave every bill and every coin he has to his mother and calmed her down. He forgot about Yeonjun already but when he remembers he rush outside just to see that Yeonjun is there standing in front of his house, holding his phone. “Why weren’t you answering? did something happen?” Beomgyu couldn’t utter a single word so he just cries. “Sorry, I ruined our 2nd anniversary but… I need time… I need space, Yeonjun. I know you would understand.”

“Sure, just tell me what happened. Did I do something to you?” Yeonjun anxiously embraced Beomgyu. “Sorry, I’m not really ready.” His shaky voice while crying makes Yeonjun sad too so he just let him be. He understands and he knows the love of his life just need time to apprehend whatever happened to him.

For the past few days, Beomgyu still wouldn’t say what happened and just kept saying that his family had problems. “You still can’t say? I understand but I want to help.” yeonjun says.

“Sorry, I really am.”

“Beomgyu…”

“Yeonjun, please, can we… can we stop already?” 

“What? What do you…” It makes Yeonjun’s heart beat fast as he is starting to get nervous.

“Can we end this already? I’m… I’m just tired and you asking what happened just make me remember everything.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to be annoying I just wanted to help.” Yeonjun reassured him. “So can you please… let me fight with you?” He holds Beomgyu’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Yeonjun.” Beomgyu lets go of his hand.

“Is it… financial? The problem? I could help.”

“Yeonjun, stop. Stop it.”

“I won’t, I’ll help you, just hang in there.” Yeonjun leaves and tries to think of away.

On his way to his house, Beomgyu sees Yeonjun’s presence standing in front of their gate.

“Here. This could help.” Yeonjun smiles nervously as he hand an envelope of money to Beomgyu.

“Do you pity me like that? Please, don’t try anymore. I don’t want any help, I can do this.” Beomgyu returns the envelope.

“You know I can’t leave you alone like this…”

“Just stay away, please.” These words make his heart clench.

“I’m just trying to help…”

“You think everything is easy to get? Why, because you’re rich? That’s not how the world goes.”

“I… just thought that this would help.”

“It won’t. So please, stay away. We’re done, right? What more do you want?”

Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can’t. Yeonjun sings.

“I hate this, I hate this feeling!” Beomgyu says under his breath. After crying, he goes outside and sees Yeonjun leaning on the wall, waiting for him. He just looks at him coldly and doesn’t obey.

Yeonjun grabs his wrist and says, “Just a minute, please.” Beomgyu nods.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being like that to you in the past… I know it just made you-“

“It’s okay, yeonjun. You did nothing but help me and be kind to me and I just put those into waste. I’m the one who should be sorry.” He looks down, guilty.

“You know, you just need to trust the people who cares for you. Don’t close your heart so much, Beomgyu, it’ll hurt thrice.” Yeonjun gives him a reassuring smile.

“Thank you, Yeonjun.” 

“How have you been?”

“To be honest…” what Yeonjun said made Beomgyu open his heart again. “I’m not okay.” Beomgyu bursts into tears.

Yeonjun quickly pulls him in a hug. “Funny. I didn’t do this to you when you were crying back then.” He pats beomgyu’s back lightly. “Hang in there, I got you.”

“Thank you, Yeonjun.”

“I’d be always here helping you.” They pull out of the hug. “Do you still want to say something?” Beomgyu asked as he was about to go home.

“I still love you.”


End file.
